Recently, I found myself reflecting on some powerful conversations that highlighted a crucial life skill we all need to nurture: self-advocacy.

Two very different scenarios reminded me how essential it is for each of us to take ownership of our own trajectory whether we're adults navigating the workplace or teens learning to stand up for themselves.

When Boundaries Get Blurred

The first situation involved someone who had just started a new job. Her boss was scheduling meetings during her non-working hours, yet she was still expected to attend.

What stood out to me wasn’t just the boundary violation. It was her hesitation to speak up. She recognized the issue, but since she was new and still getting to know the team, she felt unsure about saying something right away. Her instinct was to wait a week or two and see how things unfolded.

We talked about how common that response is, especially when you’re trying to make a good impression in a new environment. Ultimately, she realized that this wasn’t just a misunderstanding. It was a pattern that needed to be addressed.

This scenario perfectly illustrates how we often default to accommodating others’ agendas at the expense of our own well-being. We tell ourselves we’re being team players or that we don’t want to rock the boat. What we’re really doing is teaching others that our time, energy, and boundaries are negotiable.

A 14-Year-Old Shows Us How It’s Done

The second example fills me with pride as a coach.

One of our teen athletes played four games in a weekend tournament. By the final game, he had pitched three solid innings and recognized that his arm was getting sore. When the inning ended, he made a mature decision: he told his coach he didn’t want to continue pitching.

The coach then asked him to play third base. He stood his ground again, saying he didn’t feel he should be on the field in that condition. The coach’s response? He questioned whether the player “really wants to play baseball,” implying that the athlete just wanted to “pick and choose when and where he plays.”

Here’s what made me proud: this teenager didn’t back down. He explained clearly and calmly that he’d been playing all weekend, his arm was sore, and he didn’t think he could continue playing well or safely.

He didn’t let an adult sacrifice his health for the outcome of a youth baseball game.

The Lesson for All of Us

This young athlete demonstrated something we need more of: the courage to advocate for our own needs, even when others pressure us to prioritize their agenda over our well-being.

And this principle applies everywhere:

• In our careers: Setting boundaries, speaking up about unrealistic expectations, and advocating for growth that aligns with our goals.

• In our health: Listening to our bodies, protecting our energy, and saying no when something compromises our physical or mental well-being.

• In relationships: Communicating our needs with clarity and integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable.

• In our personal growth: Choosing paths that reflect who we truly are—not just who others want us to be.

Teaching the Next Generation

What excites me most about this young athlete’s decision is that he’s learning this skill early. We need to encourage more teens to do the same—especially in environments where adult authority can easily override their voice.

When we teach young people to speak up for their needs, whether related to physical health, mental well-being, or personal values, we give them tools they’ll use for life. We show them that self-advocacy isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

Moving Forward

Self-advocacy isn’t about being difficult or uncooperative. It’s about recognizing that we are the primary architects of our own lives.

No one else will prioritize your health, your goals, or your future with the same urgency you will.

So the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone else’s agenda conflicts with your well-being, remember that 14-year-old who chose long-term health over a single game.

Ask yourself:

• What would it look like to advocate for my own needs here?

• What boundaries do I need to set?

• What would I tell a young person to do in this situation?

We can’t control how others respond when we speak up. However, we can control whether we do.

By doing so, we lead by example: showing the next generation that their voice matters, their health is worth protecting, and their needs deserve to be honored.

Let’s make self-advocacy the rule, not the exception.