Before you set a goal, start with a different question: what brings meaning and joy to your life?

Not what you think you should want or what others might expect. What makes your life feel like yours. Playing tennis. Hiking with your kids. Getting down on the floor to play with your grandkids. Working in the garden. Traveling without planning around stairs. Carrying your own groceries.

I've watched so many people, young and old, lose the ability to do things they love. Most didn't see it coming. We take things for granted until we can't do them anymore, and it takes a real toll on quality of life.

Not all of it is in our control. A lot of it is, though. Strength, power, mobility, stability, and endurance are what keep those options open. To me, that's where happiness comes in. It's less about a number on the scale or a PR and more about having the health to keep living the way you want to live.

That's what the process below is built around. It's adapted from Michael Hyatt's work (Your Best Year Ever and the Full Focus Planner are great places to dig deeper). His full system covers annual goals and an ideal week. I've simplified it to the weekly layer.

Grab a pen and paper. I'll use a busy mom as an example along the way.

1. Start with why.
What do you want, and what would it change in your life? Tie it to something you want to do or would hate to lose. For her, it was "I want to be strong enough to help my parents in and out of the car and not feel run down by 3 p.m."

If a goal isn't yours, you won't stay consistent. If it comes from shame, it won't last either, because follow-through built on shame disappears the moment your emotions change. A why that connects to something meaningful and brings you joy is often much easier to hold.

2. Be honest about where you are right now.
What's working? What's hard? What time, energy, and support do you actually have this season? Not what you wish you had. What you have. Many of us feel like we have no time. It can help to look at where your hours really go for a week, with curiosity, not judgment. Even a small pocket of time is enough to start.

3. Choose your Big 3.
These are the actions that move you toward your goal, broken down so you know exactly what you're doing. Pick one to three, and for each one decide what it is, how often, and when. Hers looked like this:

• A 20-minute strength workout Monday, Wednesday, and Friday before the kids wake up

• A 20-minute walk after dinner on Tuesday and Thursday

• A protein-forward lunch on workdays

You don't need to do everything every day. You just need to know what you're doing and when, so it's not left to chance. Then put it on the calendar. You already do this for everyone else. This time, include yourself.

Ask what support would help, too: accountability, a coach, a workout partner, a little education. Most of us try to do this alone. If you've tried on your own and want help, there are plenty of options, and I'm always happy to talk it through.

4. Review every week.
Did you win the week? Look at what went well, and write it down if you can. Celebrate it, and mean it. Then look at what didn't work and troubleshoot without judgment. This isn't a grade. It's information. Finally, decide what needs to change and choose your Big 3 for the week ahead.

5. Reassess every six weeks.
The weekly review keeps your actions on track. The six-week check is the bigger picture: are these actions moving you toward what you want, or at least in the right direction? Look back at your why and ask whether it still fits. You can continue, shift your focus, or change your expectations. All three are allowed. Six weeks is long enough to see something and short enough to adjust.

Try this today

Write down one thing you want to keep doing, or one thing you want to accomplish in the next 3 to 12 months. Then ask: what would it take to get there? What small actions could I take most days to build or protect that?

Pick one to three actions for this week. For each one, decide how often and when you'll do the task. That's your first Big 3. Getting clear is where it all starts.