Some of the most capable people I coach can run a department, solve complex problems, manage three kids' schedules, and never miss a game or recital. Ask them to find 45 minutes for their own training, and it can suddenly get challenging.

It's not that they can't plan. They do it all day long. They have the structure to prioritize what matters to other people, and they know their own needs are important too. It's just a lot easier to say no to themselves than to anyone else.

I'm not saying that's wrong. Maybe your kids and your job should come first right now. But is that a decision you made, or is it what happens when you're the easiest person to say no to?

No one is above this...

I'm predictable and structured with my own training, so it may be easy to assume I have it all together.

Last week, a training client (we'll call her Marla for fun😂) walked past my computer and saw my desktop. Files on files on files. Her mouth fell open, and I knew right away she'd seen something scary. She's organized and my desktop is anything but. A file transfer went sideways a year or two ago, and way too much landed on my desktop. I have zero patience for this stuff, and I really wish my IT folks from the corporate world were still around. Marla, sweet as she is, offered to help. I guarantee her desktop doesn't look like that. :)

My house tells the same story: mail waiting to be opened, a garden that needs some TLC. Other people have those things nailed down. I just haven't gotten there yet. My time and attention have gone to other priorities.

We all have a limited amount of energy, and where it goes looks different for each of us. Being consistent in one area doesn't mean you've figured everything out. Being stuck in another doesn't mean something is wrong with you.

It changes with the season

Your self-care doesn't have to look the same year-round. When the kids are little, work is intense, or you're caring for a parent, it may need to be smaller. Twenty minutes instead of an hour. Two sessions instead of four. That's not failing. That's adjusting.

But smaller is different from gone. Whatever season you're in, your health and your needs still deserve time and attention. When they always come last, there's a cost: your energy, your health, and eventually your ability to show up for the people you're putting first.

It's not about right or wrong. It's about getting clear on what matters and making sure your week reflects it.

Next time, I'll share the simple process I use with clients to do exactly that. Stay strong!💪